This is me and Scott not long after we started dating. He was like 20 pounds heavier and I was like 80 pounds lighter. He’s lost facial hair and I’ve grown facial hair. I quit taking showers and he now considers showers “me time.” And that, my friends, is what marriage is all about!
Divorce is Not an Option. October 1, 2008
A lot of you know that Scott and I got married 3 months after we stated dating and I was already 6 weeks pregnant. We did that because we were a couple of idiots in that brand new love stage where life feels like you’re on a never ending date at Candy Land, only for us it wasn’t candy so much as wine and adderall. We know that the odds are stacked against us concerning our marriage and family. Often times we find ourselves still in the “getting to know you” stage, while having to deal with raising a child, dealing with family, and remaining civil to each other when what we would like to do is yell and scream and hurt each others feelings and pull each others hair.
Relationships are hard. Marriage is harder. We focus a lot of what we don’t want to be. We don’t want to be a couple that grows apart over time. We don’t want to make work such a priority that we don’t have solid relationships with our children or each other. We don’t want to grow resentful of each other over money, sex, time, kids, or just simple everyday decisions like who takes out the trash and when the dishes get washed. Sometimes we focus so much on what we don’t want that we forget to practice being who we want to be.
This week has been the hardest on us in our year and a half together. It has been mentally exhausting and physically and emotionally draining, yet, we still love each other. We better. Because, plain and simple, there are times when commitment doesn’t mean much and love better come in and mean something or our world will crumble. Each day of our struggle I have been reminded that Scott is a manifest of God’s great love for me. He’s gentle and strong and smart and patient and so so loving. I don’t deserve that, but I’ve got it, and I’m so grateful.
I write this because I know there are other struggling people in the world, and I need to put this out there: Two people as stupid as Scott and I are making this thing work!
I hope someone finds that encouraging.
We don’t have ourselves together. We crave things we cannot have, like drugs and parties and spontaneous bouts with death defying stunts and road trips and music festivals…and we are vey slowly learning to deal without it. We don’t know how to treat each others families, we don’t know how to live peacefully in the Bible Belt, we don’t know how to spend our time away from our Fayetteville friends…but very slowly we are learning to deal with it. Our philosophy is DIVORCE IS NOT AN OPTION AND IF THAT MEANS WE HAVE TO LIVE TOGETHER HATING EACH OTHER THEN SO-BE-IT BUT WHO WANTS THAT? SO WE MIGHT AS WELL BE HAPPY TOGETHER OR DIE. And guess what? That philosophy works. It’s a little unconventional. Has gotten us some weird looks in public and some even weirder looks from our family but it works. And that’s all that matters.
I’m very pleased you chose me as your wife, Scott. You are much better looking than I am, and I find that flattering, by the way. I love you.
My Husband the Entertainer May 22, 2008
Most of you reading this are probably my mom or my grandpa, so you already know that Scott is looking for a new job in his actual field of study. Teachering. He wants to learn the kids to read. And to read makes their speaking english good.
Anywho, I am so proud of this guy. I have so much to write, or blog – if you will, about lately, but never enough time to sit and get anything accomplished. Most of the the day I’ve got my wee one on my arm, and when I have two hands to use, I use them to pack boxes. However, I wanted to share a list of 33 things that I love about my Number One Man in honer of his birthday last Thursday.
- He loves me. Yeah, it’s more about me than him, but let me tell you, the man loves me. Can’t get enough of me. Watches out the door for me to pull in the driveway kind of love. And I love him too. I am his treasure, and I love it!
- He is the most kind hearted person I’ve ever known. I’ve seen him in some sticky – irritating – situations, and he always maintains his cool. He rarely says a harsh word to, or even about, anyone.
- He actually gives new foods a chance!
- He is a great Daddy. He gets up in the night if he needs to, and he doesn’t complain. He changes diapers, gives baths, has playtime, reads, rocks, and laughs with our babe. She is completely smitten with him, and I have no doubt that I will now be the sole disciplinarian of the house.
- He is not afraid to say “no” to me. In all actuality, I know he will be able to say no to Cassidy too.
- He is a pack-ratto say the least, but he has cool trinkets from his childhood lying around the house. He loves the sentiment and the memories.
- He says he wants to learn to cook, but when it’s dinner time he’s ready to eat whatever I can make. Hunger is not a learning state for him.
- He cares way more about making a difference in the world, living a full life, and being happy than he does making money or being safe. He is a good balance of danger and caution.
- He has not hesitated to tell people that he’s not out for money, even when he’s criticized for it.
- He cried when explaining the ending of Quantum Leap to me.
- He got all emotional during Dan in Real Life and then sobbed over Cass for a while.
- He reminds me to get over myself.
- He works hard. Is constantly acknowledged as the hardest working man at his job. He’s got a crazy work ethic. It demands him to break a sweat almost everyday.
- My nephew fell in love with him, and he will willingly play for hours in the hot hot sun with a insatiable two year old who calls him “Sock.”
- His own niecesand nephews adore him and get really really rambuncious when he’s around, but he pays attention to each of them. He really likes to read books to them and help them with school work.
- He has the ability to think things through before he acts.
- He is very serious, but will gladly have fun when I ask him to. Infact, he wakes up a little more goofy each day.
- He is creatively funny.
- Awesome is a complete understatement when tryingto describe his video-ing skills. We bought a video camera a few months before Cass was born. The first thing he did was film our fan, zoom in on the lights, and declare in his best cinematic narrative, “Inside the light bulb lives a creature few have ever seen!”
- Try as i might, he is totally and completely and utterly stuck in 90s fashion.
- He will forever love KISS.
- When he was a kid he formed an air band that “played” covered of early 80s rock songs. The bands name was Iron Cross. They put on a show for the neighborhood in St. Louis before he moved to Batesville. Scott multitasked rocking both the air guitar and a quasi-mullet.
- When I have nightmares he scoots closer to me and says “I got ya.” before he drifts back to sleep.
- He gives me a back massage every single night. And has since the week we started dating.
- He is the defender of breastfeeding. Oh, how I thank him!
- He dreams about moving to Seattle, Portland, Austin, San Fransisco, Chicago, or somewhere north with me.
- He refuses to fight with me, even when I push his buttons.
- He is a strange form of neat-freak. Throwing anything and everything into a drawer or closet to merely have the appearance of organization.
- He likes to take me shopping.
- He knows how to be thrifty.
- He grows out his beard only to cut it, and cuts it only to grow it out again. And he laughs when people say, “I like your face.”
- He plays basketball to have fun. He plays golf to remind himself that there are other sports he enjoys more than golf.
- He is absolutely positively certainly the most fun person to have at a party.
I love you, Scott. I hope we can make 33 a good year!
Figuring Out This Blog Thing… April 13, 2008
Scott and I are very productive people. Two days ago we celebrated the year anniversary of our first date. A year ago it was April 8th, Easter Sunday. We went to a Mexican restaurant and discussed mixing queso and salsa, Jesus, family, drugs, and work. I have to say it was the first date I’ve ever been on where the man actually had chivalry. He opened all the doors, paid for my meal, treated me like a lady. He didn’t even try to kiss me!
A year later we are married and have a black kitty named Posey and a 5 week old baby girl called Cass.
We’re just figuring out life as it comes (kinda like this blog) and chasing down our dreams – kid and cat in tow.