I’ve had the same best friend for the last 11 years! When I was 15 I wrecked her car and her insurance wouldn’t pay for it. Apparently they didn’t believe that the deer hit her. True, it hit me! When I was 16, she taught me how to play the guitar. Once we were turning onto an Interstate ramp and her steering wheel locked up. A man who lived across the street came over to help us. He asked us if we had any weed. We were like “No. We’re 16.” Ah, give it time, folks. When I was 17 I drove out of town by myself for the first time to visit her at college. She used to wear a shirt that said TIE ME TO THE BEDPOST. It was a reference to an Eve6 song. Remember them? When I was 18 I dropped out of a little band called Dreamfast because I was just riding the coattails of her talent. We also got on a plane and went across country together. Ate dinner with Chilli Willi. When I was 19, well, she just put up with me. When I was 20 she invited me to a show they played at this bar in Little Rock. It was Halloween and all I remember is this man who was wearing panty hose with nothing over them. Ok, that was weird. Think about that for awhile. When I was 21, well, that was a crazy time for her. There’s a very memorable hives breakout. When I was 22 I was so foolish. I don’t have many memories of her that year because I was so foolish. When I was 23 I told her I was sorry because I was so foolish. She taught me how to do shots. It was my first all night dance party. And she reminded me who I am. When I was 24 we spent a lot of time in a car together. I was not fun to be around, but she was. She gave me a chance to see some things I’d never seen, and do some things I’d never done. Thanks! When I was 25 I had the time of my life because of her. A time I often miss and would trade for not a thing in the world. She held my sobbing head when I found out my mom had cancer. She held it over the toilet more than a few times. She turned green in my arms once, and once she had to get me ready for bed. She told me to quit smoking, and gave me stuff that made lights pretty, music prettier, and love lovlier. She held my heart when it beat too hard. And my belly when I found out about a tiny little life inside it.
She loves The Colts. Tom DeLonge. Puppies. Nina and Louise. Being inappropriately funny. Babies. Alcohol. Chicken wings. Cards. Dice. Boys -and a few girls. Pretend stripteases. Fun. TV. Music. Working hard. Salami. Beetlejuice. And she’ll give anyone a chance as long as they don’t tell her to show her boobies.
She dislikes mean people (unless it’s funny, see above). Tony C. Marijuana highs. Tour travels. Booking. Waking up. Republicans. Small minds. Money or its lacking involvement in her daily life. Cigarettes. Boys who yell, “Show us your tits!”
She no longer understands 90s rock.
She has chronic tummy ouchies.
She single handedly stood up to the army and told them she’d be a paratrooper. Then, having accomplished her goal, she moved on.
Her hair has been many many many different colors. Sometimes at the same time.
She’s totally boss of the boys.
We’ve told countless secrets. Laughed until we wet our pants. Cried and hid in the comfort of each other’s cloak. We’ve fought. We’ve disagreed on important issues, but still, we are. We’ve remained we.
And now, at 26, I cried in a recliner that holds as many memories of her as I do, over her grace and good heart.
She did something today that was, for me, one of the most remarkable things that a human being can do. She helped a kid.
Thank you, Iams. You are one of a kind! A hero. I love you, you little bitch!