The Dunn Show

Welcome To The Dunn Show

11 Months February 8, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — familydunn @ 10:57 pm

Dear Cass,

Do you remember that movie Tremors?  The one with Reba McEntire?  About the big snake like creatures that burrowed under ground and ruptured to the surface from beneath to devour people?  I’m pretty sure this is your best impression of that.

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It’s a pretty good impression if I do say so myself.

You are so lovely.

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And so silly.

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I’m trying to bottle up my sentimentality because I know in just one short month you will be a year old.  You will no longer be an infant.  You will be a toddler.  Just typing the words makes me misty eyed. 

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I’ve been working with you trying to teach you to hold up one finger when some asks you, “How old are you?”  Instead you hold up all 10 fingers and cackle at me and then cry for more oatmeal.  Because the only time I get to work with you on things like that is when you are in your high chair.  Only lately you’ve been crying every time I try to talk to you while you’re eating.  You’ve made it pretty clear that you don’t need to me to talk; you just need me to shovel it on in.  Boy, you really love your oatmeal.

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Does oatmeal change your diapers?  Does oatmeal rock you to sleep?  Will oatmeal comfort you at 2am when you wake up in a panic?  Does oatmeal take you to see Gamma and does oatmeal let you play with Posey?

No.

But it does keep you regular. 

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Here’s a picture of you and your BFF Posey.  Where I find one of you, I shall there find the other. 

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A few questions I have for you:

How’d you get your arm out of your sweatshirt?

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How did get such blonde hair and blue eyes?

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What in the world do you think you’re smiling at?

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Why in the world are you crying?

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And why won’t you grow hair on the sides of your head?

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Baby, you are full of mischief and wonder.  Let me tell you a little secret.  You may look just like your Daddy, but dadblastit, if you don’t act just like me.  Girl.  We have a long road ahead of us.  You have become defiant and more than willing to suffer your punishment so that you can do what you want.  Cass.  Baby.  I get it.  I do.  But right now you don’t.  You think you want something that you really don’t want.  I know because I’ve been there.  I know what it’ll do to you.  I know that when you get what you want you’ll be burned.  You’ll cry in pain.  You’ll wish you’d never had it. 

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So I’m telling you again, like I tell you everyday:  Stay away from the heater.  Do not touch the heater.

Don’t test me, Sweetheart.  I don’t want to discipline you.  But I will. 

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Cause I’m your Mama and I love you.

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Gary Busey and Little Richard Sitting in a Tree February 5, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — familydunn @ 2:59 am

Cass, today you turned 11 months old.  I will have your birthday letter up soon. A womp bomp a loo bomp a bomp bam boom.

 

If You Want Your Own Celebrity “Lookalikes” February 4, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — familydunn @ 1:50 pm

Go here.  But be careful.  It’s a brutal world out there on the world wide web.

 

Gary Busey Is My Daddy February 3, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — familydunn @ 6:48 pm

So my self-esteem just took a major hit. 

And I cannot get the image of Scott dressed in Lara Flynn Boyle’s worst dress ever out of my head.

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I don’t know how to photoshop anything but you can just imagine his head on that body.

Tonight I will cry alone on the couch, eat a gallon of mint chocolate chip ice cream and a box of bonbons, and Scott will run around without his shirt on breaking things while screaming in a deep tone to prove his masculinity. 

Welcome to the Dunn Show.

 

My New Fantasy January 21, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — familydunn @ 4:47 pm

My absence in blogging is not for lack of things to say.  It’s because I don’t have the time I wish for to organize my thoughts.  My mind is becoming increasingly busy.  Hopefully, I’ll pick up the blogging thing again soon, but until then, here’s a new fantasy of mine. 

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I want to ride this to church and watch people admire it in the parking lot.  🙂  And then I’d attach a basket to the handlebars and ride it like a shopping cart scooter through the aisles of Walmart collecting my Caesar salad, oatmeal and organic carrots in my basket while people wish they too had a wooden bike.  🙂  And I’ll smile and wave at them as I check out.  I’ll even let them stroke the wood grain of my new bike.  🙂  That would be a good world.  🙂 

Grin.

In other news, I spent half of last weekend with this guy.

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Cass has never had so much fun.  I’m still in recovery.

 

The Office, 30 Rock, Arrested Development January 16, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — familydunn @ 4:33 pm

I just dropped Cass off at Mother’s Day Out.  For those of you who don’t have kids, Mother’s Day Out is commonly abbreviated MDO so I will probably call it that from here on out because it’ll save me a couple of seconds that are vital for me to continue doing nothing while eating Oreos.  Also, it’ll make me look like I fit in with the rest of the Mommy Crowd, and I need all the help there I can get. 

But that’s another blog.

This has to be short because I have a long t0-do-list awaiting me. 

Are you watching The Office and 30 Rock?  I certainly hope you are.  Because in a world without Arrested Development, The Office and 30 Rock are the only things that give me hope for sitcoms.  Therefore, I wanted to let you all know that I laughed so hard that I cried last night when I heard Oscar say, “It’s a Prius.  It’s silent if he keeps it under 5 miles and hour.  He deserves to win.” 

Also, I heard yesterday that the Arrested Development movie has a green light and that Michael Cera is the only person not signed on for the project.  Somebody’s gotten a little too big for his Bluth britches. 

One more thing.  Tina Fey is pure genius and my favorite celebrity by a katrillon points.  The end. 

Please go watch the first episode of Arrested Development if you haven’t seen it.  I have the first season and I’ll let you borrow it if you’ll watch it.  It’s golden.

 

Huh? January 7, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — familydunn @ 8:11 pm

Read this and join me in disbelief.