Does This Kiwi Make My Butt Look Big? December 16, 2008

I am a big believer in trying new foods.  It promotes healthy eating.  For example, I got Scott to like strawberry soda.  And now when he drinks it he gets a healthy dose of fruit flavoring. 

Cass has never had kiwi fruit so I bought her a few when I was at the grocery store. 

I usually let Cass play with our fruit basket while I’m in the kitchen cooking, preparing a meal, or eating m&ms.  And please believe when I say I spend equal times doing all of those things. 

When I looked down I noticed that there were two kiwi squished on my kitchen floor. 

Then I saw this.

I wonder what happened…

Teenage Lovers Between the Sheets December 15, 2008

Today we’re going to talk about sex.  I wanted to let you know upfront.  I don’t enjoy this post.  I’ve been trying to keep it humorous around here as much as possible, but today I’m getting serious. 

I saw an alarming segment on the Today show on November 14, 2008.  Tyra Banks did a survey of 10,000 girls nation wide for her daytime talk show.  Here are the results:

• On average, girls are losing their virginity at 15 years of age.
• 14 percent of teens who are having sex say they’re doing it at school.
• One in three says she fears having a sexually transmitted disease.
• 24 percent of teens with STDs say they still have unprotected sex.
• One in five girls says she wants to be a teen mom.
• About 50 percent acknowledge that they’ve hit someone.
• One out of three teens has tried drugs.

I feel very inadequate discussing such a controversial topic on my blog but I have no real answers for the problems.  I have mixed feelings about sex-ed, birth control and condoms in public schools.  I got in a few fights in junior high (with some of my best friends!)  I certainly have undecided thoughts about the necessary legalities of drugs.  I have many more questions for these kids than I would ever have answers.  The one thing that struck me was what Tyra considered to be the common denominator among these young sexually active girls – THEIR PARENTS.

It seems that none of these girls had parents who talked to them about sex. 

Let that sink in.  Whether you are a Christian or not, this is an extremely important issue.  Even my most liberal of friends would not say that is no big deal that children are having sex.  We may disagree on “maturity” and “morality” but I doubt we’ll disagree about trouble being around the corner for the kids participating in these behaviors. 

For those in the church, myself included, I’d like to say that I think we approach the issue in a manner that does not appropriately portray God’s intended purpose.  What I was taught growing up in the church over and over again was that I needed to be a virgin when I get married.  If I wanted to really put some thought into it I could probably write an entire book on why this is faulty.  We have taught the end result as the goal when the reality is that God wants the means to be the goal.  God doesn’t say that we should be virgins on the day that we get married, rather, he says that we should live a pure lifestyle.  If someone could attain purity to a good degree they would then be a virgin at the time of their marriage.  While being a virgin at marriage is something desirable, I see the beauty in it more now that I’m married, it’s not the goal. It is only one of the many possible benefits of attaining the goal – namely, purity – which is certainly not synonymous with virginity.   

The biggest fear I have for myself is that I will once again become the person I was years ago, so self-righteous that I cannot understand another’s logic or have compassion on them as people.  It is because of that that I refuse to be dishonest, or even quiet, about my past.  I sometimes feel such a shame arise in my soul over the things that I’ve done that I can hardly breathe.  There are times when I have to put my head in my hands to hide my face as thoughts cross my mind because of the embarrassment I feel over myself.  As much as I’d like to forget - to live as if it had never happened - I plead with God, never let me forget!  It is only because of my huge failure and God’s greater mercy that I can see myself as one in need of a Savior. As one saved by grace and not by works.  As one who has no need to boast, because trust me when I tell you, I have nothing to boast about!

Having said that I have two main things I want to say.  One, God can restore purity.  Two, You can be a virgin and still be impure. 

I wish I had the time it would take to study this before I post this particular blog.  Hopefully, I’ll be able to do that in the future.  It would probably blow my mind to get a glimpse of the ways God has promised to purify his people.  Paul says in 2 Corinthians 11:2 that he has promised us as a bride to Christ, and that we may be presented to Him as a pure virgin.  What does that mean for those of us who are certainly not “pure virgins”?  Titus 2:14 says that God will redeem us from ALL wickedness and that He will purify us FOR HIMSELF! 

There is much more Scripture (which I believe to be the absolute authority and living word of God – and the biggest blast I’ve ever known, by the way!) to pour over on this subject.  It would make this blog impossibly long, but I can’t help but be overcome by a thankful heart when I am reminded that God wants me to be pure, that he is willing to purify me, and that he will do it for himself!  He does whatever pleases him, and this is something that pleases him!  Thank you Lord!  I would certainly attain purity no other way!

I think my God loves do-overs.  I’m so grateful for that because the only way I learn is by failing.  A LOT.  I’ve failed my way everywhere I’ve ever been.  I’m sure I’ll fail my way out of bed tomorrow morning.  The good news is, God is not confined to our failures.  He is omnipresent, which means he is everywhere all the time.  If you are anything like me then you will be pleased to know that he is very much present in your past.  And he’s just as much God over your worst moment as he is God over your best.  In fact, he’s probably more willing to show off in your worst moment, because, well, that’s just his style.  He likes to throw the world for a loop every now and then by doing something great through something that seems very un-great.  I like that about him.  I’m proof of that about him.  I’ll gladly admit my failures to see him act in my life. 

Now, I would like to say a big fat KUDOS to those of you who were virgins when you got married.  I happen to know that a few of you were, and I’d assume the same about many more of you.  Like I said, I see the beauty and significance of that as time passes.  The thing is, when we teach that being a virgin is the objective, we miss the whole point of purity.  Purity is, in it’s essence, having a mind and body that glorify God in thought and action.  So, even though a person may be a virgin, she may have been immoral in her mind.  Here’s the real kicker, the one that was never emphasized to me as a teenager:  Only with God is there purity.  Our thoughts are naturally inclined toward disaster.  Our hearts are naturally prone to idolatry and adultery.  Our souls are naturally self-serving.  But with God there is unfailing love.  With him there is FULL redemption.  Even of thought and action.  Even of past.  Definitely of present.  And no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has imagined the future.  FULL REDEMPTION.  I can’t quite wrap my mind around it.   

If you know him, aren’t you thankful?

If you don’t, wouldn’t you like to know the one who can make the worst thing you’ve ever done work for your benefit?

Let’s make sure that we are parents, teachers, youth leaders, or friends who think BIG about our God.  Let’s make sure to let him show off through our failure.  Let’s make sure that we don’t allow ourselves to succumb to the pressures of “being good for goodness sake”.  Let’s make sure we share what he intended with our children.

Friday Favorites, Issue 3 December 12, 2008

Hello.  This if Friday Favorites.  Where I tell you something that’s my favorite. 

‘Tis season, y’all.  For me, that means presents and lots of TV.  Cause nothing say, “Jesus is the Reason” like American consumption and catharticsim.  Ah, capitalism.  Oh, commercials.  How very ingrained into every fiber of my physical being you are!  And this is the time of year I celebrate you the most!

Let’s talk about movies! 

These are the movies Scott and I will make a point to watch each Christmas.  There are in no particular order.  Scott’s idea this year was to put them in a stocking and watch whatever we pull out during “movie time”.

Only the funniest movie ever made.  When I watch this I laugh.  And I laugh hard.  I hold back nothing because, let’s face it, it may be the only exercise I get all year.

When I need a back rub, which is every single night, all I have to do is remind Scott that there ain’t no hole in the washtub.  And that’ll clear up any confusion he has.

If you like to be as depressed as possible over “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year” then this is the movie for you!  Who doesn’t love a little downcast soul now and then?

It’s the Groundhog Day of the Holidays.  If you wouldn’t like to see Bill Murray as a modern day Scrooge in a modern day Christmas Carol then you may be perfectly sane.  And of course by “modern day” I mean “The 80’s”.  But if you’re crazy and you admire a season of time that is completely incomprehensible for it’s fashion and music choices, I commend you, watch Scrooged.  You’ll thank me later.

I have a confession.  I went 26 years of my life without seeing this movie.  Last Christmas Scott found out I’d never seen it and he went a little crazy.  (Crazy for him is much different than crazy for me.  Crazy for Scott is leaving the house to do anything but go to work.  He lives in the wild side of life.)  So Crazy Scott left the house and went to Blockbuster to get It’s a Wonderful Life, and I haven’t stopped crying from my viewing of last year.  I wish I could have shared my too-pregnant experience with all of you.  It went a little something like this.

K:  I hate this movie.  Nothing is going right.  Why are you making me watch this movie?

S:  Keep watching.

K:  I HATE this movie.  It’s too depressing.  Why are you making me watch this?

S:  Keep watching.

K:  I HATE THIS MOVIE.  I’m not watching it anymore.  It’s making me sick.

S:  Keep watching.

K:  I can’t believe you’re making me watch this.  I HATE IT.  We’re never wathcing this again. 

S:  Keep watching.

K: I LOVE THIS MOVIE!!!  WE SHOULD WATCH IT EVERY YEAR!!!

Moving on, we have some honorable mentions here:

This used to come on TV every year when I was young.  Every time I see my rear end in a mirror the scene of the bear’s hide getting blown off replays in my mind.  The resemblance is uncanny.  Shudder. 

In the classic definition of classic, it’s a classic.  Clearly, nothing says Oscar Nomination like an 8 year old quoting gangster movies.

Merry Christmas, Ya Filthy Animal!

I Wonder If She’d Get My Tab December 11, 2008

When I was pregnant Scott and I spent a lot of time at Cracker Barrel.  Granted, not nearly as much time as we spent at IHOP, but still.  The more obvious it was that I was pregnant, the more time we spent there.  And then at some point it was no longer obvious that I was pregnant, but more obvious that I had stuffed a 5 year old up my shirt in some sort of sadistic punishment.  I was fully expecting Cass to show up with a bag full of school supplies and a full set of teeth.    Point being, if I couldn’t have a baby immediately I was going to make danged sure I had me a waffle  or eight.  

Incase you’ve missed the insane pictures of me being really really pregnant… 

This is me in early January.  (I can’t believe that was almost a year ago!)  Note, Cass measured two weeks ahead of my due date consistently from the very first sonogram at 16 weeks.  So at this point the doctors were telling me to be prepared that she might be older than expected and to expect and “early” delivery.

This is us later that night on a date.  Oh, I had such high hopes of end-of-pregnancy happiness.  Kristen, you fool!  If you are one of the many people who end up on this sight looking for information about how to get your doctor to induce you, I’d like to welcome you here.  HELLO.  WELCOME.  And there’s no hope for you.  

This is me on my due date, Feb 25th.  Still not dialated at all.  She hadn’t dropped.  I wasn’t efaced.  Her estimated weight was 10 pounds.  My estimated weight was somewhere between hippo and sperm whale.  And for the record, those aren’t my boobs they’re Cassidy’s feet.      

And that was the last picture of pregnant Kristen’s belly.  Although I would be pregnant for almost 2 weeks longer.  Apparetnly people don’t enjoy taking photos of homocidal idiots.  I don’t want to talk about it. 

Back to Cracker Barrel, I also spent a lot of time in the bathroom.  But never, never did I ever find $97,000 dollars in neatly stacked bills hanging in a travel bag over the stall.  I mean, how many waffles was that woman planning on eating?

Update on Christmas Vacation Plans December 11, 2008

Apparently The Beard has been thinking about what kind of supplies we need to get us through our 24 hour movie marathon.

Two minutes ago he said this to me.

“We’ll order 6 pizzas, 10 liters of Coke, and a box of adult diapers.”

I’ve never been so in love in all my life!

In the Sinner’s Circle December 10, 2008

I’ve been reminded over and over during the past weeks that Jesus came for sinners.

Listen, that is some dandy fine news, because as you probably are well aware of “we are all sinners.”  But I’m not just talking about the understanding we have of “we are all sinners” or “we’ve all fallen short of God’s glory” or “don’t judge” or anything else that falls in the category.  The news I have to face everyday is that I’m not only tempted to think I’m better than everyone else, I’m naturally inclined to believe and act like I’m better than everyone else.  When I think I’m better than others it comes through on every level of my attitude and behavior. 

My way is better.  My way is right.  My time is more important.  ARROGANCE.

Your way is wrong.  You are in the way.  I don’t need your ideas.  JUDGEMENT.

The truth is, talking to people who disagree with me, or even just listening, is necessary in order to stretch my brain.  We can’t just write people off because we don’t agree.  I’m so thankful to have friends – from many different ways of life – who are willing to listen and discuss various issues with me.  (In this moment I especially miss my friend Chad, and his beautiful mind.  You, Baby Chad, have given me more intellectual wounds and then bandages than any other person I know.  I’ll be saying ”Thank You!” until I die!)

So lately, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about “sin”.  What is sin?  Why do we disagree so much on what constitutes sin?  How should we handle these disagreements? 

And if you don’t like the word “sin” then we can just say “right” and “wrong” but, personally, I find that to be much more problematic. 

I’ve been racking my brain for far too long.  I’d due to have a good time.   So here’s a conversation I had with Scott “The Beard” Dunn last night.

S: “Butt, we have SO MUCH to do over Christmas vacation!”

Yep.  He calls me “Butt”.  This is a nickname of a nickname.  He’s given me many, and even used them over intercoms at times…

K: “What do we have to do over Christmas vacation?”  I said this very defensively, by the way.

S: “Well…(long pause to think)…we have to watch ALL the Lord of the Rings and ALL the Star Wars.  It’ll take hours!  Like 12 hours!  For each of them!”

K: Silent stare in disbelief.

S: Stressful sigh.  “We’re going to have to get a babysitter.”

I love him.  He’s perfect.  And seriously, if any two people on the planet have enough self-control to watch 24 hours of TV in a 24 hour time period it would be us.  We are that good.

9 Months December 5, 2008

Sweet Baby Cass,

You are the reason I get up in the morning. 

No.  Really.  You are the reason I get up.  What with the crying and the screaming.  And how come your Daddy always throws you in the bed with me when you’ve got a runny nose!  You both know it’s the one thing I don’t do well.  Throw up on me, just don’t make me touch your snot.  Cause that’s gross. 

By the way, when in the world did you have time to become 9 whole months old? 

    

Ignore the background, Cass.  When you’re older and you read through these and you say, “Mama, hadn’t you guys lived in that house for like 5 months by that time?”  That’s when I’ll have to remind you that you’re never too old for a whoopin’.  Never.  I promise we have finally completely finished unpacking.  Almost. 

And also, why are you such a snaggle tooth?  I love to see your smile when you show off your top teeth.  Don’t worry, Baby.  Mommy and Daddy are gonna get you braces.  Hopefully.  Maybe. If we can afford it.  But then if we can’t we’ll just get you lots of extra candy. 

That’s right, it’s all or nothin’ here in the Dunn house.  And also cause candy is cheap.

    

Your Daddy started feeding you pecan twirls.  I didn’t have the heart to tell him that he’s not supposed to give you nuts, because he’s got such a good heart and I hate to hurt his feelings.  It didn’t seem to bother you.  In fact, when you see him with a pecan twirl you now stalk your Daddy with the tenacity of Adnan chasing Britney.  Not so quiet resolve.  It’ll get you far.  Now Daddy is your new BFF and I’ve been left in the sidelines with the breastmilk.  So much for sacrificial love.  If I’d have only known the key to your heart was Little Debbie it would have saved me so much.  Time.  Money.  Bra sizes. 

    

Cass, I have something else to tell you.

You are also the reason I SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT!

Yes!  Yes yes yes!  You’ve slept through the night on two different occasions now and they were both lovely occasions.  The morning you woke up at 7:15 I was so happy I was ready to get you a bouquet of roses and a tiera.  I didn’t have either of those things so Dad and I just took pictures of you crying while wearing your new hat.  Cause we’re all or nothing, remember?

    

You don’t like your hats, but I make you wear them because they’re cute.  And also because it’s windy outside and I want your ears covered.  But mostly because they’re cute. 

    

Daddy’s been playing with the Polaroid this month. 

I like the way the pictures make you look.  Very vintage.  Looks like the photos of when I was kid.  Only my parents didn’t relish in taking my picture while I was crying.  In fact, if your Gamma did end up with any pictures of me crying she probably burned them.  She’s not afraid to tamper with evidence, Cass.  She’ll alter the course of history to suit you.  And maybe that’s why she is still the only person you’ll chose over me. 

However, you’ve got a new found independence.  Like when I take you to the nursery at church and you immediately try to find a way out of my arms onto the floor where you can crawl around and play with the other kids.  By “play” of course I mean “dominate”.  Apparently you’re pretty good in the nursery.  You must have secret powers over the people who keep you in there.  Either that or they feed you endless amounts of pecan twirls and you’ve offered your undying love and affection. 

Your new independence came coupled with great mobility.  You are really on the go these days.  You don’t want me to hold you as much, which I thought would give me freedom to clean and cook and do all my domestic duties.  But instead I have less time because you’re always finding a small thing to put in your mouth or a book to rip apart or a cat to beat up. 

Cassidy, can I tell you again how you changed my life?  I love you so much.  I can’t wait to see you change into the woman you’re becoming.  You’re such a joy and a blessing.

But I’d pout too if my mama caught me with that mess.

Love, Mama

Get Off Your Tush and Go Outside! November 25, 2008

Cass has really loved sitting here and looking outside.  I wonder what runs through her little baby mind.  Probably something like, “Mmm.  This ladybug doesn’t taste half bad.”

Twilight November 25, 2008

I thought the book was better.

Of course, you’d say.  But seriously, there were times I felt sorry for the people in the theater that may not have read the book.  I didn’t see how the movie made sense to them without knowing the feelings or intentions of the characters in the movie.  It made it much more shallow.

This a normal way to feel about a movie when you’re read the book. 

I’ve been reading a lot of others comments, blogs and reviews on the movie/book.  As with anything, there are many opposing views on the morality of the nature of the subject.  I’ve read from those who think supporting the book or movie to any degree is supporting the occult, and I’ve read about others who think that understanding their fascination with Edward has deepened their relationship with Christ. 

I don’t know how much more I’ll read these opinion until I’m finished with all of the books.  I have almost spoiled the story for myself, and Scott can back me up here, I go a little ballistic when a plot gets spoiled.  Even if it gets spoiled for him.  Even if I find out he sought out the end of the book or the movie beforehand.  Even if I catch hm reading the back of the Buffy DVD collection before we watch and episode we’ve already seen 5 times.

Friday Favorites, Issue 2 November 21, 2008

Hello.  And welcome to Friday Favorites!

I noticed my video from last week quit working and I think that’s a shame.  I hope some of you got to see it, and if you didn’t I highly recommend looking it up on You Tube.  Look for something like “Andy Samberg punching people before they eat.”  And then marvel in the genius of that sentence. 

Let’s get started on some of my favorites this week, shall we?

Are you feeling down?  Feeling blue?  Have I got the thing for you! 

• Demotivators by Despair.com: Increasing Success by Lowering Expectations

These signs may have been one of the many things that made C&C Music Factory go “hmm”.  They certainly made me.  They don’t just speak truth, they speak it in a way that we can all understand.  Here’s one for my own personal endeavors. 

I’d like to hang that on the wall in my office.  Also know as my living room.  But wait!  There’s more!  There’s not only a sign for all of us, but also for all places.   

This one is for you who have a real office, with real meetings.  May you gracefully spend your time nit-picking over things that don’t matter and inadequatly arguing over solutions that don’t make sense.

You can hang this one at church!

Congress has a new motto. 

Now that we have been demotivated in constructive behavior, let’s move on to hobbies!

• Cooking! 

It’s the perfect time to get in the kitchen and experiment.  So far I have made pumpkin butter, pumpkin soup, and sweet and savory brandy bread pudding.  Right now they are sitting in the freezer waiting to be dethawed and devoured.  Before our Thanksgiving meal at my mama’s house I will make homemade eggnog and gingerbread white chocolate blondies.  I would like to make pumpkin biscuits, but for some reason I’m not much of a bread/biscuit maker.  I would appreciate any tips or recipes!

I have to wait to make the sweet stuff until right before the party because Scott and I can’t contain ourselves.  We’re talking about two people who ended up with a baby on the way only one month after dating.  Self-control is not our strong suit, people!

• These dudes.

Uncle Sock and nephew Caleb eating breakfast.  What is it about bedhead that’s so endearing?   

Caleb has trouble saying “Scott” so he just says “Sock”.  Which is actually a lot better if you think about it. 

Y’all get ready for Caleb.  After I get my pictures organized you’ll see much more of him and he is a trip!  He’s 2.  Do I need to say more than that?  I love 2 year olds and I think my little dude has got to be the coolest of them all. 

I’ll let you know how I liked the movie.  I would tell you what I think about the book here, but I think I’ll save it for a post of it’s own.

Have a good weekend!