Christmas Pictures December 19, 2008

A few weeks ago my friend Jon Ed came over to my Mama’s house to take pictures of the babes.  Cass was in a foul mood and was in serious need of a nap.  He still managed to get several good pictures of her, and there were many wonderful pictures of Caleb as well.  Although, half way through the photo shoot I heard Sam (my sister-in-law and Caleb’s mother) say, “Why don’t we just tell him to ‘smile pretty’?  I don’t think we need to tell him to ‘smile big” anymore.”  So just let your imagination run wild with what “smile big” must mean to a two year old.  Caleb did.

That was the best picture of the two of them together.  That’s my Daddy dressed up like Santa, so I’m sure that picture will be a precious keepsake for the two of them as they get older.  Although Caleb may have figured something was up because he called Santa “Papa” a few times.  Sam pointed out that it didn’t help that my mother kept yelling “Bill!” when she’s need to get Santa’s attention. 

Good times in the Hogue house.  Also known as “Hogue Manner:  Where Daycare meets Nursing Home and We All Wear Diapers.” 

And I hope I don’t spoil anything but I got my Mom a big sign to hang over her front door with that engraved on it.  The print is big so that the elderly may be able to read it from the street and avoid any confusion. 

This is my favorite photo from the bunch.

ISN’T THAT PRECIOUS? 

That’s the same face that made me fall for her father!

Jon Ed was great with the kids, and bonus, he travels.  So if you need a great photographer that won’t cost you and arm and a leg and second mortgage then call this guy.  Well worth it!

Does This Kiwi Make My Butt Look Big? December 16, 2008

I am a big believer in trying new foods.  It promotes healthy eating.  For example, I got Scott to like strawberry soda.  And now when he drinks it he gets a healthy dose of fruit flavoring. 

Cass has never had kiwi fruit so I bought her a few when I was at the grocery store. 

I usually let Cass play with our fruit basket while I’m in the kitchen cooking, preparing a meal, or eating m&ms.  And please believe when I say I spend equal times doing all of those things. 

When I looked down I noticed that there were two kiwi squished on my kitchen floor. 

Then I saw this.

I wonder what happened…

I Wonder If She’d Get My Tab December 11, 2008

When I was pregnant Scott and I spent a lot of time at Cracker Barrel.  Granted, not nearly as much time as we spent at IHOP, but still.  The more obvious it was that I was pregnant, the more time we spent there.  And then at some point it was no longer obvious that I was pregnant, but more obvious that I had stuffed a 5 year old up my shirt in some sort of sadistic punishment.  I was fully expecting Cass to show up with a bag full of school supplies and a full set of teeth.    Point being, if I couldn’t have a baby immediately I was going to make danged sure I had me a waffle  or eight.  

Incase you’ve missed the insane pictures of me being really really pregnant… 

This is me in early January.  (I can’t believe that was almost a year ago!)  Note, Cass measured two weeks ahead of my due date consistently from the very first sonogram at 16 weeks.  So at this point the doctors were telling me to be prepared that she might be older than expected and to expect and “early” delivery.

This is us later that night on a date.  Oh, I had such high hopes of end-of-pregnancy happiness.  Kristen, you fool!  If you are one of the many people who end up on this sight looking for information about how to get your doctor to induce you, I’d like to welcome you here.  HELLO.  WELCOME.  And there’s no hope for you.  

This is me on my due date, Feb 25th.  Still not dialated at all.  She hadn’t dropped.  I wasn’t efaced.  Her estimated weight was 10 pounds.  My estimated weight was somewhere between hippo and sperm whale.  And for the record, those aren’t my boobs they’re Cassidy’s feet.      

And that was the last picture of pregnant Kristen’s belly.  Although I would be pregnant for almost 2 weeks longer.  Apparetnly people don’t enjoy taking photos of homocidal idiots.  I don’t want to talk about it. 

Back to Cracker Barrel, I also spent a lot of time in the bathroom.  But never, never did I ever find $97,000 dollars in neatly stacked bills hanging in a travel bag over the stall.  I mean, how many waffles was that woman planning on eating?

In the Sinner’s Circle December 10, 2008

I’ve been reminded over and over during the past weeks that Jesus came for sinners.

Listen, that is some dandy fine news, because as you probably are well aware of “we are all sinners.”  But I’m not just talking about the understanding we have of “we are all sinners” or “we’ve all fallen short of God’s glory” or “don’t judge” or anything else that falls in the category.  The news I have to face everyday is that I’m not only tempted to think I’m better than everyone else, I’m naturally inclined to believe and act like I’m better than everyone else.  When I think I’m better than others it comes through on every level of my attitude and behavior. 

My way is better.  My way is right.  My time is more important.  ARROGANCE.

Your way is wrong.  You are in the way.  I don’t need your ideas.  JUDGEMENT.

The truth is, talking to people who disagree with me, or even just listening, is necessary in order to stretch my brain.  We can’t just write people off because we don’t agree.  I’m so thankful to have friends – from many different ways of life – who are willing to listen and discuss various issues with me.  (In this moment I especially miss my friend Chad, and his beautiful mind.  You, Baby Chad, have given me more intellectual wounds and then bandages than any other person I know.  I’ll be saying ”Thank You!” until I die!)

So lately, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about “sin”.  What is sin?  Why do we disagree so much on what constitutes sin?  How should we handle these disagreements? 

And if you don’t like the word “sin” then we can just say “right” and “wrong” but, personally, I find that to be much more problematic. 

I’ve been racking my brain for far too long.  I’d due to have a good time.   So here’s a conversation I had with Scott “The Beard” Dunn last night.

S: “Butt, we have SO MUCH to do over Christmas vacation!”

Yep.  He calls me “Butt”.  This is a nickname of a nickname.  He’s given me many, and even used them over intercoms at times…

K: “What do we have to do over Christmas vacation?”  I said this very defensively, by the way.

S: “Well…(long pause to think)…we have to watch ALL the Lord of the Rings and ALL the Star Wars.  It’ll take hours!  Like 12 hours!  For each of them!”

K: Silent stare in disbelief.

S: Stressful sigh.  “We’re going to have to get a babysitter.”

I love him.  He’s perfect.  And seriously, if any two people on the planet have enough self-control to watch 24 hours of TV in a 24 hour time period it would be us.  We are that good.

Get Off Your Tush and Go Outside! November 25, 2008

Cass has really loved sitting here and looking outside.  I wonder what runs through her little baby mind.  Probably something like, “Mmm.  This ladybug doesn’t taste half bad.”

Twilight November 25, 2008

I thought the book was better.

Of course, you’d say.  But seriously, there were times I felt sorry for the people in the theater that may not have read the book.  I didn’t see how the movie made sense to them without knowing the feelings or intentions of the characters in the movie.  It made it much more shallow.

This a normal way to feel about a movie when you’re read the book. 

I’ve been reading a lot of others comments, blogs and reviews on the movie/book.  As with anything, there are many opposing views on the morality of the nature of the subject.  I’ve read from those who think supporting the book or movie to any degree is supporting the occult, and I’ve read about others who think that understanding their fascination with Edward has deepened their relationship with Christ. 

I don’t know how much more I’ll read these opinion until I’m finished with all of the books.  I have almost spoiled the story for myself, and Scott can back me up here, I go a little ballistic when a plot gets spoiled.  Even if it gets spoiled for him.  Even if I find out he sought out the end of the book or the movie beforehand.  Even if I catch hm reading the back of the Buffy DVD collection before we watch and episode we’ve already seen 5 times.

You Make Bathtime So Much Fun November 20, 2008

Cass still has to take baths in the kitchen sink because we are still using our bathtub as storage.  I know.  I know.

I know.  I know.  I know.

A few months ago when I saw that she was going to really enjoy bath time I bought her some bath toys.  We started giving her just two or three to play with while we washed her down, but on a whim one night, the same night I apparently lost my mind, I threw her whole collection of toys in the sink during her bath.  There were 10 floating rubber toys circling her like a merry-go-round and – I don’t know how to say this serious enough – she went spastic.  It truly was the happiest moment of her life.  She was watching for the next toy to circle round and she’d pass the toy in her right hand to her left, hold that toy in her mouth, and pick up the next toy with her now empty right hand, throw the toy in her left hand down and pass the right one along.  This started happening at a pretty quick pace and she continued in her cycle for a couple minutes then looked at me with rabid bloodshot eyes and hung her head and sobbed.  SOBBED.

It was hilarious! 

So now we’re back to just 2 or 3 toys. 

She doesn’t know the world of water the tub would offer, and for now that’s ok because you should see the kitchen when she’s done with her bath.  She puts no small amount of effort into throwing the water around. 

Move over, Moses.  There’s a new kid in town.

      

                   

Facts About Daily Life: By Kristen and Scott November 19, 2008

Time we get up: 4:58am                                                          Why we get up:  Cass crows

Second time we get up: 6 something                                       several snoozes later

Exhaustion: unbelievable                                                         I can deal

No heater: Scott moves a space heater to keep us warm         hey! it works

Favorite breakfast: waffles and fried eggs                               not at 4:30am

What we eat: triscuits and coffee                                             cereal, yeah!

Scott’s clothes: hello 1995                                                      1995…good year

My clothes: hello same thing I’ve worn for the last 3 days      um-uh!

Morning routine: Cass crying                                                   planning lesson should’ve done last week

Scott leaving for work: Cass and I crying                                 I miss them already

Passing time: drink 5 cups of coffee                                        2 cups of coffee 1st period planning

Lunch: lean cuisine                                                                   awesome sandwich made by awesome wife

Ponder: what’s a shower feel like these days?                           it feels so good, while there’s hot water

Favorite cocktail: coffee and adderall                                      beer

Favorite cocktail: not gonna happen                                        beer

Favorite cocktail: a girl can dream                                          beer

Cass’ favorite food: paper                                                       mommy

Chores: where do I even start?                                                let me do it

Chores: do I even start?                                                          I ask the same question

Cass: ADORABLE                                                                    Cherub

Last time I brushed my hair: I don’t remember                       I did it, that why she can’t remember

Last time I brushed my teeth: hmmm…                                 Soniccare rules!

Potty break: is it called a break if a baby is on your lap?       Ah, the throne.

Favorite song: Stanley Steamer commercial                           I don’t do advert-is-ments

3 o’clock: watch front door anxiously for Scott                      Don’t show up till 4, big smiles when i get home

Smell: is that me?                                                                 yep

Favorite food: fajitas and burritos                                        steak and potato(e)s, that’s for you Danny

Dinner: lean cuisine                                                             anything Kristen cooks, anything!

Hours spent breastfeeding already today: 28                     our life is different than it used to be

Welcomed change: cool weather                                         still blue sky

Old reliable: boogers                                                          landmines on the bedposts

What I absolutely hate: boogers                                         I love to freak her out

Where I’m from: Earth                                                        they only place that would have her

Where Scott’s from: somewhere it’s OK to scratch your balls in public            Let freedom ring!

TV: excuse to be lazy                                                        damned liberal media

TV: glorious                                                                      choices 

Worst thing Cass put in her mouth today: my toe             remember bedpost ?

Worst thing I put in my mouth today: I don’t know what it was but it wasn’t a cheerio       Ibid

 Number of pounds I lost this month on my diet: 10        she’s lookin’ good y’all

Number of pounds Scott lost this month just switching to diet soda: 15    I’m lookin’ good y’all              

How I feel about that: (insert long uncomfortable silence with deadpan stare here)      uncomfortable silence

Cass bedtime: bunches of kisses                                      so sweet

Breastfeeding: 36                                                               new life

Nighttime: we are professional wrestlers!                          she’s much stronger after pregnancy

Laughs: like crazy!                                                             don’t wake up the baby

Bedtime: Stewart and Colbert                                              I’ll give you a back rub

Back rubs: a must                                                               anytime

Scott going to the bathroom: inevitable                             when you gotta go…

Scott waking up the baby: inevitable                                  you gotta go

Me having to deal with it: inevitable                                   when you need to sleep…

Frustration: outrageous                                           huh?  what’d you say?  I couldn’t hear you.  I was sleeping.

How  handsome Scott is with bedhead: OH MY GOD          she thinks I’m handsome

Love: overflowing                                                               outpouring!

Tomorrow: again please!                                                    can’t wait!

It’s Cheaper Than A Flu Shot November 17, 2008

If you’re anything like me, and you’re probably much more sane, you don’t take the 20 minutes needed to hook up the seat cover on the Walmart cart before you throw you’re kid in and plug her up with a pasi!  The time it takes to install those 30 layers of fabric to the front of my cart can make or break my day.  Here.  Read this article.  Now all you moms out there can join me in a very loud “EEEEEEEW.”  While it’s inevitable that Cass is going to spit out her pasi in a fit of uncontrolled excitement – or fear - at the first person who waves at her, I am willing to let the girl get some germs in order to help her build up that immunity.  In fact we should all just pick a day and take our kids to store, let them lick the carts and each other, and then we should bathe them in the public restrooms. 

It’s cheaper than a flu shot.

And somewhere my mother just gasped outloud.

Dear Paula Deen, November 13, 2008

Today you “went bananas” and made all your dishes with bananas. 

Paula Deen, I’ve loved you ever since I saw your affinity for butter and cream cheese.  I appreciate how your definition of cooking is mixing several different forms of cholesterol together and coating them with sugar.  I love that about you, Paula Deen.  But I do not, under any circumstance, want to eat a ham and cheese and bacon and potato chip and BANANA casserole.  What are you thinking?  Have you gone bananas?

Paula Deen, I’ve loved you ever since you were on Elizabethtown.  I thought you did a marvelous job making your jams for Orlando Bloom and it inspired me to daily beg my husband to grow his hair like Orlando’s and ask him to dress up like Legolis during the holidays.  I don’t recall you using bananas during that movie and I now think that was to your own benefit. 

And, Paula Deen, I do not know what constitutes you calling a dish “healthy”, and maybe it’s just me, but just because you add a quarter banana to a pound of butter doesn’t make it healthy.  Also, Paula Deen, when you say “this is a snack you wouldn’t feel bad cooking for your kid after school” I always laugh to myself.  Not because I would feel bad feeding your snacks to my kid after school, but because yeah right, I’m not cooking after school snacks for my kids.  That’s what bananas are for.   

In the great words of the philosopher Stefani, “This sh@# is bananas.  B-A-N-A-N-A-S.”

Love Kristen